Brisco County did not help me

Hey! I ran a marathon! My second one! And this one wasn't as much fun at the other one!

I will tell you upfront, that I did not bring my camera to the event. Actually, the camera was in the console of the car the whole time, but I really didn't know that, because my camera and I like to play hide an seek on a daily basis.

To fill in the gaps (until Kim posts the pictures she has), I re-created some visual images using the thoroughly advanced program, Paint. If you need help telling the real pictures from the Paint pictures, you just go ahead and let me know.

Here's where my medal and race number are currently being displayed. This is where they have sat since I took them off my body on Saturday. You can tell the pride that I have in them.


Okay, so I am proud that I finished it, especially since it seemed so dang hard.


I started out the trip by getting Rock Chip '09, not to overshadow Rock Chip '08 that I got at the Tetons. Both happened on a way to an event, which made it impossible to stop and repair chip. Not that it would have helped, since it cracked right away, but whatever.
And if someone can tell me why there are rocks all over the road out West, I would appreciate it. WTF, East Side of the Mississippi?


Anyway, we get to Ogden, and pick up our race packets, which we were forced to pick up on Friday. We perused the local cafes and decided to eat at a place called Karen's Out West Cafe. I believe the name comes from the fact that when you order the food, they have to get in a car and drive to an undisclosed location "out west," pick up your food and come back, thereby necessitating the hour we had to wait for our barbecue sandwiches.

One guy was none too pleased with waiting and caused a ruckus when Kim went to the bathroom to further investigate the picture on the wall that I was pretty sure was Old Elvis. It was.
The old guy ended up leaving with his family, leaving his chicken Alfredo on the table.

Kim hooked us up with some sweet digs, and I got to see what elephant skin wallpaper looks like. As we left at 4:30 in the morning to catch the bus, I decided to drive over the curb, which resulted in the slight breakage of my bumper. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a nice bungee cord though. It is wrong to say that the bungee is still on my car? I'm going to stick with "no."


Anyway, bus ride to the start where we had to wait in a field full of cow patties and around fire barrels. Start of the race, blah blah blah.
The first 9 miles went pretty fast, and we were pleased. I was thinking the 6-8 mile stretch would be so boring, but there was so many people and things to see, like runners urinating in people's front yards, it was great.


Somewhere around mile 10, I saw this guy. He was wearing gold Mickey Mouse ears backwards (more aerodynamic I guess), he had a little bat belt of water bottles and he was alternating running and walking. Each time I saw him he was WALKING! And he was IN FRONT OF ME! And he was PISSING ME OFF!
Each time we would pass him, he would end up passing us at an aid station, at one point I saw him talking on his cell phone and I swear Kim had to hold me back so I wouldn't grab his ears off his head and shove them in his mouth.

I finally passed that sucker somewhere about mile 15 and didn't see him again until the recovery area. Again, thanks Kim for keeping me out of jail.

As I hit the downhill at mile 17, my knee decides to start to hurt. Which it has never done before in our 4,567 miles of training runs. I finally decide to stop and stretch it, and after about mile 19, my pace deteriorates, along with my dreams of getting a better time in this marathon than the last. And, I'm tired. And, the water they are giving us tastes like gas. It's great.

I saw some guy puke over the divider around then. That was fun, mostly because I wasn't puking, so I figured I was doing better than him.

As we got out of the canyon, there were only 3 miles left. I was so overjoyed at this, and combined with the groups of people cheering you on right then, I wanted to cry tears of joy. Don't get me wrong, it was really great. It's these feelings that keep you wanting to run more marathons, because I don't know how to re-create that feeling of relief unless you run 23 miles out of the canyon and then see a sign that says "Just think of how great your butt will look."

So, I'm getting teary, and my breathing starts to change, which isn't great for my exercise induced asthma that my doctor says I apparently have. Just as I enter the tunnel that goes under the road I start to get concerned that I might suddenly suffocate and pass out in the tunnel, and no one will see me down because it's so dark and I will be marathon roadkill.

Fortunately, I made it through the tunnel, but the event was so memorable to my synapses, every time I hear the song that was on my ipod at the time, I can feel the simultaneous feelings of fear and joy.

After a few more miles, I finally cross the finish line, and the most beautiful sight I see is a big container full of bags of ice. For me! Yay!

Oh, and they had free Jamba Juice, so that was pretty awesome too.

I finally gave Kim the present today that I had meant to give her on Saturday. Bruce Campbell's autobiography. It is only fitting since she introduced me to Brisco County Jr. the TV show during our training, and we have had several conversations about "the orb," since then. Plus, I just re-watched Army of Darkness.


So that's the marathon, in a nutshell. Rock Chip, Mickey Mouse, Death Tunnel, Jamba Juice and Bruce Campbell.

Makes you want to take up running, huh?